It's Been Awhile...BTW I Had a Baby

All right, fine. It hasn't been that long since I blogged. But I hadn't realized how long it's been, and I felt like I couldn't just show up after 3 months without bringing some big news. Especially since big news is the new black it seems. Seriously, in the last few weeks Prince William, Chad Ocho Cinco, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson announced engagements, Eva Longoria filed for divorce, a slew of B list celebrities (whose names aren't important enough to Google) announced new babies and now Pink is expecting a new baby.

So if you haven't deduced yet, my blog title is misleading (read: A Big Fat Lie). I did not have a baby. In order for the title to be true I would have had to wait until April to post again.

See what I did there?

So how you doing? How has the fall treated you? Yeah, who are we kidding? I'm way too ego-centric to care about anyone but me so let's talk about that. The past three months have been a time of growth for me. Instead of spending the fall writing about myself, I have spent them getting to know me better. I have learned that I was exceptionally anti-social in my first trimester even to the point that I allegedly blew Jessica off on the phone one day. I repeat, allegedly; I have no recollection of this incident.

I will shamefully admit that I did blow off this blog. If you are upset with me, take comfort in knowing that I got what was coming to me. I'm only half-way through my pregnancy and my MIL already referred to me as "huge". Apparently that time of growth I was referring to was literal.

Finally,  I have discovered that I am a name snob. I shoot down every name that other people suggest for one reason or another. So not only is my future child nameless, she's not even close to getting a name. If you think you can come up with a name better than "Baby" for my unborn daughter that'd be super.

For anyone who feels like they couldn't possibly name a child that they don't know, I'll recap for you: Since becoming pregnant with her I have exhibited anti-social behaviors. I have become thoughtless to the feelings of others, and I will most likely make fun of any name that you suggest. Essentially I am gestating a Mean Girl.

She might be a jerk, but at least she'll have great legs and a good taste in shoes.

8 comments:

coach said...

You have become a pain in the behind over the name situation. We should just go with whatever name I decide. I mean really, I AM THE FATHER!. Well good to have the blog back.

Matthias

tbsomeday said...

lol
oh how i've missed you
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
i think we need a "huge" picture post :)

names...
how about
calla ann
it's the name i wanted to use but we are d o n e
you can shoot it down if you like--i understand the hormones :)

Punk said...

My heart was so broken by that one time you had stuff you had to do rather than sit around on your butt and entertain me. *sniff*

That said, today I offer you these two names for your consideration: Isabelle & Sophia. Do with them as you will.

Kathy English said...

Congratulations! Laughing my ass off at your post. Name baby after your m-i-l!

Bellsys said...

Aah, so good to see your new post (I was getting tired of seeing those baseball caps everyday ;). Congratulations! We have the stroller/carseat from Jess for you. Maybe we can bring it up to you one weekend (so I can see your new house, hint, hint). We were picking names for Aaron on the way to the hospital. Dan's was God-sent (I'm thinking "blog subject" here.) Names? Love the Sophia suggestion. Based on your experience -- I don't know -- Tempest? lol

Dione said...

You know you're just opening yourself up to getting lots of baby name suggestions... I'm thinking - Dione?

I watched a Buffalo Bills game last Sunday. Or at least part of it. But I didn't know who to drool over. I felt lost without Trent. If I had had your cell number I would have texted you for a suggestion.

It's a girl? How fun! Yeah, Dione has a nice ring to it.

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

WOOHOO! Congratulations.

I'm reading and then I'm like "Wait. What month is it? *counts fingers*"

We're very excited for you over here. (And when I say we, I mean me and my 3 year old and I'm certain everyone else to whom I announce your news today.)

If you want name suggestions. Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT even think of SARAH. Especially not SARAH MICHELLE. Nope. Don't name her that.

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

congrats! Glad you're social again. : )